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Perceptions Colour Our Vision

Back in the first week of the Fall 2005 semester, I was in my local college library doing some research, still trying to decide if I was ready to finally pursue my Master’s and Doctorate degrees. A young man came up to me, rather agitated. He asked me if I was a teaching assistant. I told him I was preparing to do graduate work. Could he talk to me, he wondered. He was very worried that he would do poorly in classes because of the abundance of essays he had to write that semester. And it was only the end of the first day of classes. He essentially wanted to know if things would get better.

I thought back to all the hard lessons I’d learned as a student, most of the revelation happening after I’d already done poorly in classes I’d neglected so that I could focus on others. This young man needed someone to talk to, and soon. I casually queried him about his background: where he was from, how he’d done in high school, what his interests were, his program of study, and his plans after a Bachelor’s degree.

His responses proved my suspicions: He was an intelligent young man, top in his class from a small-town high school. He knew he wanted to do graduate work after his Bachelor’s, but at some other university. It’s been my experience that most people who have a study plan eventually do go through with all aspects of their plan. Sometimes I think that I’m an exception. However, my general goal in life has been to learn as much as I can, no matter what I do. And I’ve always managed to stay on this path, even if I have not been able to carry through with official graduate studies and getting those extra letters after my name.

What the biggest barrier is to study goals, nay all goals, is incorrect perception. This young man, Michael, had it in his head that things were going to be very hard in college, and that his life would be ruined if he let things slip. I told him that no one should ever start college thinking that they had to do well right off the bat. Wasn’t that why you enter advanced studies? To learn? If you already know it all, why go to school?

I made suggestions to him on a few approaches to studying for assignments and exams, and how they differed. It’s true, he had an enormous amount of work ahead of him, but in the short 45 minutes or so that we chatted, I got the impression that he would pull through just fine, with a fair dose of angst tonic for motivation. He knew what he wanted in life, which is more than I can say for most people that I’ve met.

It was his incorrect perceptions about how to approach college that had him worried, agitated even. Wrong perceptions are more often than not the reason for much angst. We may be the only species that speaks to other members in what we call language, but often cannot communicate our true thoughts and feelings. Not being able to communicate what we are feeling forces us to internalize our angst, which when sustained for long periods of time, often turns to depression and/ or emotional pain. The more sensitive a person you are, the easier it is to suffer from the angst of wrong perceptions.

Some people suggest physical activity to increase the endorphin levels in your body, thereby staving off angst and depression. While I find this to be a great temporary measure, unless you can resolve your feelings and perceptions, your life will be miserable. What always helped me was writing a personal journal. I started by writing “romantic” lyrics and angstful poems when I was 15, then moved to writing my daily thoughts. While I haven’t done this continuously, I have done it during low periods in my life, or during creative periods - which, surprisingly, often seem to coincide.

We all have incorrect perceptions; we correct them and go on with life. But it seems to be an universal truth that those people who are the most creative are also the most sensitive, and thus the most susceptible to emotional rollercoaster rides. If you cannot resolve your feelings by discussing them with someone in person, you might consider discussing them with everyone via an online journal - within limitations, of course.

Steve Pavlina has a journal post about Blogging for Personal Growth. If this sort of thing interests you, consider by starting a private journal on your computer or in a notebook or diary. Record incidents in your life, and how you resolved them. Later, when you feel you have a balanced perspective of the situation, edit your words and set up an online journal (aka online diary, weblog, blog). Share your problem-solving methods with everyone. Those who are interested will find your thoughts via search engines, much like you probably found this journal. Be careful, however, about sharing intimate details about yourself and those of family and friends.