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Are You Experienced?

Back in early 1982, I lived in Ottawa, the capital of Canada, for a college co-operative work term. Through workmates, I met a bunch of co-op students  like myself who were in a band. One of the inevitable debates that we always had was about who the best rock guitarist was. Was it Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, or someone else altogether?

My angle was always Hendrix. When I’d say that, the response I’d get from one guy in particular was, “I know half a dozen young guitarists who can play better than him.” Now while that might have been true, these guys always had to use a series of special effects to match the prowess of Hendrix

Sure, Hendrix employed “tricks” as well. He was a left-hander, but leftie guitars were hard to come by, especially electrics. So he used a right-handed electric and flipped it upside-down. I can’t recall anymore, but I believe he also restrung his guitar. He used, at most, maybe a stomp pedal and one or two other gadgets.

For the most part, however, the music he created was inside of him and he was able to let it out. His passion manifested as both music and showmanship. These young guitarists that my colleagues often referred to may have had skills, but they didn’t have what Jimi had: passion, burning passion. Which is why they’ve remained unknown and he is etched into musical history.

Passion is the root of the ability to have patience. People can claim to have passion, but true passion isn’t worried about being at the top of the charts or being number. It is plain and simply about doing what you love, what moves you so much that you cannot resist doing it without feeling empty inside. But if it’s not a viable career choice, then you do what you need to to get by, but continue your passion.

If you don’t know what your passion is, then it behooves you to explore, to try different things. A person without passion is a zombie. When you find something you like, something that fulfils and stirs you, leave it alone for several months. Do you find yourself wanting to come back to it?

How do you find your passion? Steve Pavlina wrote an insightful article at his wonderful weblog, but for the life of me, I cannot find it. (Here’s a related article.) So I’ll summarize the gist of what I think he said: Spend some time making a list of things you enjoy doing, even if it takes a few days. Go through that list, and spend a few minutes exploring each item. The one that makes you cry is your life’s purpose.

While I don’t disagree with Steve, I’m thinking that most people will not be able to use this method successfully. I hope I’m wrong, though. On the other hand, over the years, many people have revealed their passions to me, without even realizing it. Give me a quiet hour or two with someone, in person, and - unless they’re hornery and untalkative - I can discover their passion. Or at least one passion. I feel that you can have more than one passion in life. But I may not be able to convince someone of what that is.

The method I use is to try to distill the person’s life experience, based on what they tell. The activities they’ve enjoyed over the longest time period, no matter how frequent, are prime candidates.

But it’s not always easy to find your own passion. Your perspective is clouded. You may not feel there’s enough promise in your passion to pursue a career in it. Or you cannot decide which passion to focus your time on. Or, more commonly, you may have guilt associations with it.

While it’s positive to think that you could make a living from your passion (see Dr. Marsha Sinetar’s highly inspiring book Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow; affiliate link), many people just cannot work up the courage to consider this. Or more importantly, they have too many people reliant on them, and to pursue a passion would be inconsiderate, in their estimation.

Which is fine, from a pragmatic point of view. However, as I said above, a person without passion is a zombie. Even if you cannot/ will not pursue a passion as a career, it must be part of your life, if you want to have some fulfillment. But to do so, you must understand some of the reasons why you have not realized a passion, then do something about it

Here’s an example, a double one. Besides wanting to be a healer, I have two overwhelming passions in life: to make music and to take photographs. All over the world. (In fact, my definition of healing includes music and art therapy.) But every time that I have ever bought myself a camera or three, events conspire in my life to take my cameras away from me. This has happened many times over 25 years.

On the last such occasion, I was working on contract in Atlanta, Georgia (USA). I went back up to Canada in early September of 2000 to visit my mother and take care of a few personal matters, including getting my hair cut by the only person I trusted then. But when I headed back to Atlanta to finish my contract, I couldn’t get into the USA. I tried for two days. No luck.

I left behind $30,000 worth of clothing, books and gear, including 5 cameras and two laptops primed for sound recording. I was even ready to shoot an indie film. I had a script, and was in touch with a young aspiring actor that had the look of a new James Dean. Several phone calls and emails to my landlord, beyond a few initial attempts, went unanswered.

The same experience is true for me for music. After stewing for a year about my lost photo gear, laptops and 100 unfinished musical compositions, I worked hard in contracts back in Canada and turned back to my composing. I plunged $35K of hard-earned dough into guitars, synths and several racks of recording gear. What happens? The economy goes in the tanker, my long-term contract gets cut short, and having just moved, I’m stuck. I’ve moved out yet again and don’t want to turn to my parents for help.

But I can’t seem to get more contracts in my field. I’m told, after only two months, that I’ve been out of work too long. Two months! So I change careers and end up working as much as 85 hrs/wk in minimum wage jobs cooking in restaurants so that I can pay my bills. The bills eventually win over. Slowly, I gave up on my bills, my cell phone, cable TV, internet, and eating three squares a day. The last thing I gave up, other than my car (no choice), is my sponsorship of seven foster children. That hurt me the most.

The net result is that over 2 yrs, I had to sell just about every single piece of musical and recording equipment at 30 cents on the dollar. The money I spent on a distance composing course through a music institute in Los Angeles was also wasted when I couldn’t get anyone to return my emails. All I’d wanted to know was how long did I have to turn in my assignments.

Do you see a pattern here? That’s not all. Last year, while trying to load up a second operating system on one of my older computers, I trashed a 17 Gb hard drive and lost about 300 songs I’d been composing, including 80 I’d finished and was hoping to submit as movie soundtracks. These were my best work to date - the 100 or so lost in Atlanta were substandard. My guitars and synths were gone, my recording equipment was gone, and even my raw music tracks. All I have left are 8 CDs I’d burned of nearly finished work, most of which needs to be recorded before use.

It took many, many years of reflection to realize why I constantly manifest this sort of pattern of loss in my life. The answer is simple but unfortunate: guilt. I was raised to highly appreciate art and music, but not to desire it as a career, as it isn’t a rational choice, if you ever want to raise a family. Or so I was told.

As much as I told myself that this was false, deep in my psyche, I’d been conditioned to believe otherwise. Now, being an adult, and having tried hard to practice pragmatism, it’s far easier for me to finally pursue my passions. I now realize that you can do this without having to give up a career that pays the bills. Nevertheless, the ideal career is out there. You just have to discover it.

That said, I have to admit I’m a liar. I have another huge passion, bigger than the others. Fortunately, it encompasses my passions of healing, music, and photography. Can you guess what it is?

Side note: As I finished up this post, I actually came across the Hendrix song of the title of this post playing on the radio - a song I haven’t heard in over a decade. Synchronicity?

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