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Spheres Of Influence

Sometimes inspiration comes from the strangest of places. Being a freelance writer and consultant, I work out of the house most of the time. At lunchtime, I watch a number of comedies while I take a break. One of them, on occasion, is The Cosby Show. In the particular episode I saw, the son, Theo, was interested in the ex-girlfriend of one of his friends. But being a bit reluctant, he asked yet another friend to talk him up to Julia. The result was that the friend got the date and Theo swore off women forever - or something not too far from that.

Having previously been in that state of mind (about women and other subjects), I reflected a bit. The additional reflection made me realize that our reactions to events are based on solely on our own experiences. But there’s nothing earth-shattering about that realization. Dig a little deeper, though, and then you understand why our experiences are so different from each other: differing spheres of influence.

When we’re very young, our universe/ sphere is very small, limited to our immediate family. This sphere expands to include neighbors and playmates. When we go to school for the first time, the sphere expands further and we now have schoolmates, which may take us out of our immediate neighborhood. When we go to high school, and then college/ university, our sphere of influence continues to grow. Our first job may take us to a different city.

Our sphere of influence keeps expanding throughout our lives. Unless you shelter yourself. Xenophobics are amongst the worst culprits of this, afraid of anything foreign. Their spheres of influence could not possibly grow. The same thing happens in the little cliques that form in high school, college, even the workplace. People shut out contrary influences. That way, you can always be right in your own opinions and beliefs.

Someone wise once wrote that if you compared yourself to your ten closest friends, 5 of them would be more successful than you, and the other 5 would be less successful. Someone - maybe the same person - also said, if you can’t change your friends, change your friends. In other words, if you can’t help your friends improve their lot in life, you need to find new friends.

In other words, if you want to be successful, open your mind and change your sphere of influence.

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